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Introspection

The past five days I spent my time on the beautiful beaches of Nosara in Costa Rica. There, I learnt how to surf and despite my inability to swim, I found that I quite enjoyed it. It’s funny because I’ve always loved being in the water, but for some reason never had to opportunity to learn how to master or overcome it. Having the beach so close by, I couldn’t help but spend time there and take time to jump some waves and swallow some nice salty water, right?

It was during our second last night that there was a bonfire at the beach and I drifted to the side with a group and stared at the moon that was bright enough for me to see what I was surrounded by. But the more i stared up, the more I saw waves. I felt them and I couldn’t get the thought of being in the water out of my silly head. Below, is something I wrote on the bus ride back to the Cloud Forest up in Monteverde. What originally was supposed to be a poem turned into this style of writing that I only learnt of a year ago. This thing called ‘stream of consciousness’ writing that came up in English class while we studied Ginsberg who was quite a character and really didn’t care about anything anyone thought. Anyways there’s my introspective piece after a little trip to the beach with some pretty incredible people 🙂

I see waves.

I see waves when I gaze into the night sky
I see waves when I close my own eyes
I see waves and I don’t even know why

For someone who can’t swim
I find myself in water quite often
It gives me the gift of presence the absence of which gives way to sadness

As I see waves
Gently building up
creating little caves
Flowing through me
I struggle to stay afloat
I struggle for air

And then I realize the essence of life through the presence of my being
As I stand on the tips of my toes keeping my nose on the surface of the liquid that might be the end of me the impermanence of that which is life strikes me like thunder sending chills through the bones that hold me together spreading goosebumps across the skin that stretches to cover every part of my body. I’m alive and I’m so very lucky to be. But to be alive in the ocean with a Bhutanese soul so far away from home. Sometimes confused by the expectations I set for myself how will I ever understand the demands of others and whether or not they need to be met. Where will I find happiness in my heart that will stay? I love my life and the insides of my core will fight if any part of me disagrees till opinions are changed and I am grateful for the life I have and the fortune that I have found. The treasures in life will never be gold or silver but the smiles that spread across faces across the land and across the ocean when hearts are warm but sadness is around and everything balances out.

There are moments in time when I struggle to understand life. But then I realize that the eyes I look into when I’m sad as they shine with good intentions to make me smile, maybe life is not meant to be understood. It’s meant to be lived. Whole heartedly. Like the world could end any second like you are being beckoned by the wind and earth and the trees are calling your name because we are all the same.

You can talk about love and hurt but you’ll never understand if you’ve never felt it. And maybe you can’t understand life if you can’t feel it. Maybe you need to say it’s okay when you’re down because you know that you’re not underground, that you will be found. You don’t have to be different and you don’t have to be the same. Be who you are and the right people will love you and your journey can be the best you’ve ever had.

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6 hours and 6 minutes

6 hours and 6 minutes left of the last 3 months. It’s been a wonderful and crazy term in New Zealand. It’s taken so long yet gone by like a breeze. Summer seems like a dream now as I head back home to some cold weather in Bhutan- Something I’m kind of dreading yet totally looking forward to. I’ve never been the most eloquent writer or speaker, but I know I definitely haven’t done justice to the last few months that New Zealand has given me. Especially not on this blog. So here’s my attempt at an ode to New Zealand, the land of the hobbits.

Home to Frodo.

To Hobbit or not to Hobbit?

To Hobbit.

To Hobbiton, for making screens come to life

To Hobbiton, for being there for us to see

To Hobbiton, for welcoming me to New zealand,

To Hobbiton, for being my most popular picture on instagram

To Frodo, for helping me persevere when the IB got to me

To New Zealand, for letting me sail again

To New Zealand, for helping me face my fears

To New Zealand, for throwing me into the Ocean with a pool noodle

To New Zealand, for letting me meet chill ass people

To New Zealand, for allowing me to be adventurous,

To New Zealand, for being so beautiful

To New Zealand, for all the love and inspiration

To the home of Frodo, a land I never dreamed of seeing

To the home of Frodo, for making non-existent dreams come true

To New Zealand, Thank you for being my home

To New Zealand, I wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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Bay of Islands, New Zealand

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We were meant

All these places that we lay our eyes on

All the emotions elicited interject

Our time together will soon be gone

Our time together we introspect

We were meant to be here

We were meant to see and hear

We were meant to hug the trees

We were meant to hold the keys

We were meant to perceive

We were meant to believe

We were meant to understand

We were meant to say, “we can”

We were meant to live

We were meant to give

We weren’t meant to be told

We were meant to change this world.

We are the lights that will refuse to stop shining

The lights that will not once cease to burn through the darkest ages

We are the trees that will grow to the skies with our roots still grounded

With our eyes wide open,

we feel the things we see.

We are the ones who have faith and still believe

In the beauty of the world and the beauty that we are capable of creating

We are the future generations

We are hope

We are the future generations

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Summer <3

Oh sweet, sweet summer. I can’t believe it’s almost over. Looking back, and thinking about all the thoughts I thought this summer is crazy. I’m glad they were all happy ones. So much has happened, so, so fast. It’s hard to fathom that two months has gone by. Just like that. I feel both excited and terrified for what’s to come. I’ve been waiting for senior year my whole life and somehow it looks nothing like I imagined.. not that I imagined anything haha.

I can’t believe I’ve had to start thinking about college. It makes me feel so old but at the same time, not at all. But it’s so exciting to know that I still have so much to look forward to in life. There’s so much that’s happened yet so much more that’s waiting to happen. It’s such a scary thought but oh so wonderful at the same time.

It’s funny because this happens every single time, but I never see it coming. Summer feels like the best time ever and I have the hardest time letting go. But then the travels begin and they always blow my mind. Can’t wait to see what New Zealand has in store for me 🙂

Anyways, as I pack up my two month stay at home, I’d like to thank all the fantastic people I got to spend time with this summer. It’s been a beautiful time. I will never forget it. I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’m already looking forward to the next time we’re all together again 🙂

Much love and big hugs,
Gawatermelon

xD

YOLO.

This deep quote though
This deep quote though
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Inconsistency

The inconsistency in which the way everything flows in and around us in our lives
weaving it self in and out, in and out.

It’s like motivation
how sometimes you feel it,
and sometimes you just don’t

It’s like friendship
When one moment you’re there
and in another, you’re gone

It’s like energy
It’s like fun
It’s like every single thing ever

People are fickle
there is never a constant
but there doesn’t have to be

It’s like me
I will always be consistently inconsistent
I will always be

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-10

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Crazy good

 

Leaving Japan in five hours now. Having lived here for six months, it feels super weird to know that I’ll never be returning with the same people I’ve been with. I’ve had so, so many fantastic experiences and it’s going to be hard saying goodbye. So here it is – My tribute to Japan and everyone who’s made it such a special time. ❤

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Hiroshima, from Mitate-yama

 

Six months feels like it’ll last forever,

Yet it comes and goes so fast, I just..

This is weird, it’s crazy, but it’s good.

So, so good.

For the last few months, I called Hiroshima my home.

.. and it’s been nothing but wonderful.

I loved every second of it.

Times were rough, just rough enough to help me grow.

If not for you Japan, I wouldn’t know what I now know

So thank you,

For all the experiences you’ve given me,

the bonds you’ve let me make,

and for all the good times that kept me sane

and all the bad times that sometimes drove me a little insane

but whatever because I’m better now.

So thank you Japan

Because being here was crazy good.

 

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Grateful

I am grateful

For everything I’ve ever received,

and for every individual I’ve ever met.

I am grateful

For all the opportunities I’ve ever had

and for all the lessons I’ve ever learnt

I am grateful

For all the friends I have made

and for all the memories they have given me

I will never forget them

I am grateful

For the life that I live

and for the people I am surrounded by,

for the people I have been surrounded by

Thank you, you help me grow

I am grateful

For the life I get to live,

My life has been fantastic

Thank you, to everyone who’s made it that way.

I am grateful,

For all the times I’ve fallen flat on my face

and for all the people who were there to pick me up.

I am so blessed to know such kindness

I am grateful,

To be so blessed,

Life could be so much harder but it’s not,

It’s the best life that I could live

And so,

I am grateful

For everything that’s ever happened

and for everyone I’ve ever known.

For life,

I am grateful.

 

 

 

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